Choking on it

I am running around.  Aware that your arrival is imminent.

I should feel joy to have you back.  I should feel relieved and I should be ready to happily pull you into my arms and listen to your tales about your trip.  I SHOULD be there for you.

But I am not.

Because I can’t let go.

I so I clean the kitchen and get the laundry going and empty the refrigerator…trying to clear and touch all those spots that will make you angry if you come home and things are not in place, if things are in disarray…

If I don’t respond the way you want…

Or if don’t look at you the way you want…

Or if I breathe in a way that is not pleasing.

So I fret and clean and cook and pray that it will all be Ok

14 thoughts on “Choking on it”

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