Wandering

There are a lot of stories about Autistic children who wander…away. And it is serious and dangerous.

I didn’t realize at the time – even when he was diagnosed – how lucky we have been – how lucky we are.

I think back to those early years where I would notice that it seemed like he was 100% engrossed in a movie or book but he never left my side – walked just behind but always close – he still does it today.

I didn’t understand – so one day I just was wandering around because it finally struck me what he was doing and for just a minute… I was curious so I wandered in predictable circles – always watching – not understanding how he could be simultaneously so engrossed in something and so in tune with me. He never bumps into us – he never falters –
He is always right there a half step behind. So…back to my test…my boy – he put up with it for about 30 seconds and then stopped – I turned to look at him and he sighed and shook his head…

Are you done? He queried.

And I dropped right there to my knees so we would be on the same level and apologized.

He was 4.

He has – every second of his life been an amazing person. I wouldn’t do the things I do today if I didn’t have him! HE makes me wanna be stronger, better, worthy of his love.

I guess I just went all THAT mom again but I’m sitting here watching his dreams streak across his peaceful face and I can’t help but feel so happy…

So blessed…

To be right here in this moment

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